An addendum to the PTSD portion of my health conditions

"PTSD. This is related to my physically, emotionally and psychologically abusive family growing up, the traumatic ending of my marriage, and the "ne'erdowell" neighbors and their hostile, maniacal and disruptive behavior. I am very noise sensitive and sensitive to neglect, aggressive and callous speech or behavior."

~~~

Jack. I also have a lot of PTSD related to the Interface and its anomalies or bad symptoms, like head stinging or body aches, etc., especially if it gets really intense, which it has recently in the last couple weeks.

Also relevant is how I have PTSD related to how these energy fields or currents will suddenly close the door, so to speak, between me and a loved one, with me not knowing how to open it again safely, even if I can understand how the energy current closed the door in the first place. I hope that makes sense. I'm very afraid of this happening between us, especially considering how harmful the energy has felt when I try to get close to you now. I'm trying not to panic and freak out but it's been hard not to.

Bad Panic Attack Yesterday

Yesterday, I was experiencing such pain and stinging from channeling in the Underground that I had to stop abruptly. I had been channeling hot topics of the day where there is controversy, like certain socio-political issues and I was doing this with various groups of people. I also was channeling the actor, Leonardo diCaprio, who I happen to be somewhat on the fence about regarding his approach to gender relationships. He was telling me the kind of misogynistic optics associated with him are, again, related to a type of public persona he's been made to adhere for the sake of his career. The topics were nothing too different than the challenges I often take on in the Underground. It's all about growth and teaching and guiding. But, the pain got so bad I started to have a hardcore panic attack. The panic attack was severe enough that it started to scare me and I began to wonder if I needed to see a doctor or something. Eventually, it passed but sometimes panic attack symptoms themselves are so scary, you can't help but worry that something more serious is happening. And then, that adds to my panic!!! :( :( As a result, today I feel kind of exhausted and depleted and concerned about how to proceed.

Since I've been having especially intense interface symptoms in the last couple of weeks, like more sharp headaches, stinging, etc. than usual (this occurred since the earthquake and since Jack went back on tour - both happened on the same day), I think it's just really starting to get to me. I definitely feel frustrated and confused and exhausted. I'm not sure which Underground activities I can do that will be safe and chill, sans Interface problems. I'm not sure who I can talk to, what topics will be Interface anomaly-free or when I can just simply communicate or connect. It isn't just about Jack and the Raconteurs or you or either of your tours (though at times I've had some particularly intense experiences with you two since tour season began, unfortunately, as you know - and I truly and sincerely do not say that lightly, sweetheart). It seems to also be about everyone who was affected by the earthquake, too. At least, as far as I can tell so far. And, of course, those connected to intense energy fields (but that's a lot humans!).

Regarding you and Jack specifically:

I'm still reeling from the intensity of that really bad experience several days ago (intense aches and stinging) when I tried to channel Jack and the other Raconteurs in their subconscious state, right after all six of us had a Love Enlightenment meditative session up top. And then, a few days later the same thing happened while I was talking to you while you were also in the subconscious state. I think that was two days ago, when I then posted a blog about How To Block Bad Mojo, as a result. What does it all mean, Eddie Bear?

Concerning you and Jack, I keep receiving downloads lately telling me that on both occasions when I encountered that really bad achey feeling when trying to talk with subconscious Jack and the Raconteurs and then you - that each of all of you on those two occasions happened to be addressing in a real-world sort of way up top, some of the challenging components to your music industry experience.

It'd be helpful if I could get a confirmation or denial from you in the psychic way, at least, if this was true. If I could get that at some point tonight when I feel up to it, that would be great.

There's a lot more to talk about (both through channeling and me blog posting) on new and improved safety protocol. Tonight, however, I just want to reconfirm from you at some point the following: that two days ago you were made to surprisingly stop your real-world action of addressing some of the challenging components to your music industry experience because I was getting hurt hanging out with you "down below" (your subconscious). If so, that'll help confirm for me if I'm understanding correctly that we really do need to be creating new Watchdog-like safety protocol for you, Jack and the others who are Awake, Alive and Conscious for when you're making personal changes in the entertainment industry. And for me also, so I know how I can safely engage with you fellas and with the Underground.

_____

To be fair and thorough, here is an official iteration of some of the other things affecting the Interface that require improved safety protocol measures. This is a partial list:

1) stress and fatigue management 2) natural phenomena affecting the electro-magnetic field, like earthquakes, solar flares, etc., which may, in turn, affect the Interface of the Underground 3) any other large-scale natural disaster or human-made event like a hurricane or the upcoming 2020 election in the US 4) various people attached to intense energy fields or energy trains because the subculture they're a part of is just intense (negative mind, action, words, energy floating about up top) 5) related to #4, how being in the conscious state could mean those negative energy fields, and the bad actions and words, etc. that create them, are more keenly felt by those directly exposed to them, like you sweet sorts in the entertainment industry and those of us here at the Rosslyn. And then that stuff is brought into contact with sensitive people like me, who get affected also.

I'm trying to piece this all together, so that I may make sense of all the downloads I'm getting that are talking to me about better safety protocol we can all employ.

*I'll probably post more on this in the future, too.

Dear God, I hope this all makes sense. It may not bc I'm very spun and tired. I'll try to be refining this better as we go along.

Sheila E. And the Pimps of Joytime

I am going to see Shelia E. Tomorrow at Pershing Square Downtown Stage at 7pm - 11pm. Yay! Drumming heaven. :)

Sheila E. And the Pimps of Joytime

I am going to see Shelia E. To.orrow at Pershing Square Downtown Stage at 7pm.

TO IMPROVE ONESELF FROM SORENESS OR FATIGUE

Be gone from my carriage and mind energy connected to soreness, fatigue and stress. I release soreness, fatigue and stress and replace it with wholeness, well-being and healing. I love you, Body and Mind, I love you.

*Unless otherwise specified, these languages do not need to be repeated verbatim to yourself. You can play around with or modify the language to suit your style or specific subject needs. :) These "spell" or "mantra" postings are meant as examples of the general idea of "energy clearing," just to confirm in writing the basic idea.

The Efficacy of Rosslyn Community building work

The metaphysical techniques and concerted organizing efforts that the Watchdogs, Rosslyn Community members, and Rosslyn animals employ HAVE improved the overall conditions of my section of the building, as far as I have observed. I can specifically speak to the aggressive noise pollution and disruptive behavior. It def HAS improved. Nine months into it, I can now more confidently report that. The two neighbors on either side of me and the bevy of neighbors in the courtyard or cul-de-sac that my window faces have all shown noticeable improvement in crazy calamitous behavior which equates loud noise (though bad flareups can still easily be triggered off and on and they can adversely affect my well-being). I have also observed my elderly, handicap neighbor gain access to critical, potentially life-saving info and communications by procuring a government issued smart phone, recommended to him by one of the Rosslyn Community members/Watchdogs here in The Underground

I do want you to see me say this in writing. :) I do want you to read my weigh in of The Underground, metaphysical techniques as applied to the problems of the Rosslyn Lofts apartment complex insofar as I can observe in my area of the building by this point, 3/4 of a year into it.

So, if the Divine, guides, angels and loving friends/family, members of the Underground are telling you, Jack, Paul, Bob, Keanu, Diego and Harrison that they want to help you guys in the entertainment community (starting with you and Jack) collectivize and formulate some systemic protocol measures for you guys to apply so that you can (hopefully) more safely and empoweredly tackle some of these music world and/or Hollywood changes, then know that I can now say (9 months into it) that these metaphysical techniques can really make a difference in mitigating ne'erdowell actions, energy and ne'erdowell systemic behavior. EVEN IF YOU GUYS DO NOT DIRECTLY INTERACT WITH NE'ERDOWELLS' SUBCONSCIOUS MINDS, THERE MAY BE POWERFUL TECHNIQUES YOU GUYS CAN COLLECTIVELY USE IN AN ORGANIZED MANNER TO EMPOWER AND PROTECT YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES WHILE DOING THIS IMPORTANT, LOVING WORK. AND, IF WE'RE LUCKY, THESE TECHNIQUES MIGHT HELP MAKE THE GOALS MORE FEASIBLY OBTAINED [hands making heart symbol here].

TO BLOCK AND SHIELD FROM BAD MOJO ENERGY OF ANY KIND

Be gone from my carriage and my person if you are energy connected to anything other than that which is safe, worthy, protective and life-sustaining for me.

*you can tailor the verbiage to specific subjects

*IMPORTANT: you can use this before, during and after the act of tackling trying to make personal changes in the music industry.  The new emphasis here is to be sure to say this mantra before and during (whenever possible) you're haggling with that world in a regular five-senses way, as opposed to just after the bad mojo has appeared in the Underground. And also there is a new emphasis we're making here by realizing the energy clearing should be done in connection to a regular real-world activity (not just Underground interaction) at the time the activity is being undertaken in your life. In other words, applying the technique to a real-world activity will actually help Underground/psychic forum interaction up top and down below, at least to some extent we hope. Fingers crossed....  I'll of course let you know, Ed, sweetheart.

Hopefully it will start to offer some measure of protection for yourself, me and others while you, Jack and the others are doing this important work in the real world.  We can try it and see if we all start to being affected less perniciously.

Perhaps I'll try to post more the more I am understanding. In the last 20 mins of us applying it, I have felt noticeably better bc of how we're applying it in a new way. :) :) :)

My Health Conditions

NOTE: I will likely add to this post from time to time with updates, including new medical info, details on symptoms and/or ideas about how I might be managing those medical symptoms in the Underground. 

Additionally, I may add more content or details to the horrible Interface-related symptoms or anomalies I (and seemingly others) experience.

I'm kind of nervous in posting this (and think it's why it's taken me a bit to do so) because a full reveal of all of my medical conditions is not something I'm in the habit of doing with just anyone. In other words, I've learned the hard way that it's best to talk about these things if I'm sure I'm in a safe space. And, generally, physical health problems tend to be very scary for others to confront and psychological ones still come with a lot of societal stigma. Nevertheless, I actually can be comparatively forthcoming on many occasions, and tend to speak freely about at least some of the conditions (particularly with other sufferers of the same malady) but, admittedly, I rarely just lay everything out on the table in one lump sum, particularly if, like I said, I'm not completely sure if the other people are going to be able to handle it well.  Ever since my heart problems, I found you lose friends if you start to overwhelm them with daring to be too sick in front of them [wry laugh here]. I think I'm worried that the following list of conditions, coupled with the Interface harm, will leave some of you (particularly you two, Ed and Jack) with such a sense of "too much" that you won't want to continue to interact with me at all in the Underground, even if I'm feeling well and not having any Interface problems. Because, the truth is, if I'm feeling well (health-wise, no ne'erdowell neighbors behaving badly, no Interface problems) then, I really do want to be engaged with people in the Underground, and oversee things in the Underground*).

*I am saying the "U" word here for complete clarity. Truly, this blog gets zero traffic (I regularly monitor the metrics), no one will see this.

I also wanted to wait to make sure everyone would be able to really spend time reading this and connecting with it in a clean and clear way, so that it was not felt like a burdensome or distracting thing in the face of people's tours and albums.

At the end of the day, however, I can't deny that part of a proper safety protocol would necessitate granting specific knowledge of my conditions to those interacting with me in the Underground with any regularity, so that you might be better able to "hear" me (and/or Divine, guides, etc.) express my needs telepathically and also, so that you might be able to make better logical decisions on your own about what may be safe in your interactions with me, i.e. "airing on the side of caution" type thing.

1)

First and foremost, I do have a serious heart condition called, Complete Heart Block (the medical term for it is called, Third-Degree Atrioventricular Block. Another lesser-known term for it is called, Mobitz III, type III Heart Block). I was diagnosed with it following a cardiac arrest in 2014. What this condition confers is an inability of the top part of my heart (the atrium) to convey the electrical impulse that tells the bottom part of my heart (the ventricles) to pump. My condition is an electrical conductivity issue. It is not the same as having clogged valves, like those who’ve had a heart attack have.

My heart does not pump on its own. It requires a pacemaker to function. My heart is 100% dependent on the pacemaker to pump. 

My cardiologist-electrophysiologist believes this condition is genetic. It was not contracted through anything I did or did not do. Nonetheless, I quit smoking on the spot after 25+ years and couldn’t help but quit my recreational drug use (also quit cold turkey upon diagnosis - all except marijuana) and drastically cut down on alcohol consumption, per his guidelines.)

Since I am not a clinician, I cannot speak with minute detail about what is safe for me to be exposed to or not. But, in general, my instincts and my spirit guides try to follow a low-stress approach. This applies to my response to A) life in general B) the harassing ne’er-do-wells in my apartment building, C) the Interface fluctuations (which I try to avoid as much as possible, but these days it’s been very difficult to do so because they’ve been occurring with more frequency and intensity). It’s also why the guides/other Elders/Divine/Helpers, etc. counsel you guys to avoid doing things that may shock, surprise or stress me.

2)

There is also a secondary heart condition I used to have called, Atrial Flutter. I had two surgeries to correct that condition back in 2014, but there's always a chance that condition could return (unlike Complete Heart Block, which is ongoing). 

3)

Major Depressive Disorder

4) 

Generalized Anxiety Disorder.  The following can give me individual anxiety-related symptoms (i.e. nausea) and/or a Panic Attack proper, which can be inclusive of several anxiety-related symptoms (i.e nausea and light-headedness).

A) Life, in general 

B) Health problems. In and of themselves they can trigger a lot of anxiety sometimes.

C) The ne'erdowells acting up (particularly if they're doing so very profoundly).

D) Functional problems with the apartment. My apartment truly does have functional problems also, unrelated to the ne'erdowells, and sometimes those problems kick in late at night (though not exclusively) and can give me panic symptoms and/or a panic attack.

E) Poor apartment management response to any of the above.
F) Dealing with any of the government agencies I'm required to as a result of being on Disability (the personnel is often abominable).

F) Interface problems (i.e. General system failures that cause anomalies such as "communication blackouts," "headaches,' "head-stinging," "heavy, oppressive energy," etc.) 

G) Exposure to large amounts of uncertainty. This is true for life in general with me. However, this also applies to the Underground and psychic spaces where the channeling is unclear and I don't know for sure what's going on, like trying to channel an understanding of what people's availability is in the Underground.

H) And finally, generally, anything where you observe there's a lot of stress occurring, I will be sensitive to it.

5) 

In addition, as a separate co-morbid* diagnosis, I am sometimes allotted Panic Disorder, as I can have a lot of panic attacks sometimes. If you regularly have a certain amount of Panic Attacks proper in a certain amount of time then it constitutes not just Generalized Anxiety Disorder, but specifically Panic Disorder. Sometimes I do have that precise amount of attacks in the precise amount of time for a long enough duration ongoing to warrant the additional, separate diagnosis of Panic Disorder.

*That’s the term for more than one psych diagnosis, lol.

6) 

PTSD. This is related to my physically, emotionally and psychologically abusive family growing up, the traumatic ending of my marriage, and the "ne'erdowell" neighbors and their hostile, maniacal and disruptive behavior. I am very noise sensitive and sensitive to neglect, aggressive and callous speech or behavior.

7) 

Vertigo. This one evinces itself when I get stressed.

8)

Cataracts (for which I may need eye surgery. They are early onset cataracts - most people don’t get them so young - and they’re a type of cataracts that can deteriorate your vision rather quickly. I’m skittish about surgery ever since my heart surgery and keep hoping there’s some way I won’t need it).

9)

I also have Acid Reflux/Gerd. The symptoms of this I experience quite frequently and you hear me complaining about it often. I have a hard time digesting food properly and I cough a lot. I take medication for it, but because the symptoms have not completely gone away with Prilosec, my doctor recommended me to a specialist. I have been in talks with the specialist this summer and will be scheduling an endoscopy/biopsy by the end of the summer/early fall. I'm very afraid of this procedure for I hope they do not find anything like cancer. 

Rain - Beatles tribute band

From 7pm till 11pm tonight I'll be seeing Rain, this kewl Beatles tribute band. The venue is Pershing Square Downtown Stage, a few blocks from my house. I don't know if there's an opening band, there often is at this venue. I'll try to see if you're available for a song or two, if you want, but no pressure bc I'll def wanna focus to see it. :) I may see if subc Paul (so weird to see typed out) would wanna sense a bit of it, too (which is also weird bc he's already playing all his songs himself on tour. He may be played out, in fact, lol).

If I get ready in time, I may also head out to art gallery reception I also know of.

For now, I'll use the regular way to know if ur available. I thought maybe u were saying u know of a new way to know. I'd be interested in learning that, but I may not have time to receive it tonight and make the events. If u were saying that though, I'd love to hear it soon. 💖😊

Made Five-Senses Contact With Watchdog "Manny"

Yay! Fingers crossed we can continue to build a connection going forward...I am cautiously hopeful....

First off, to clarify: the Watchdog who we were calling, "Manny," is actually named Adrian, lol!

I reached out to him last night by posting a sheet of paper on his door that gave him the URL of a helpful earthquake preparedness and emergency website sponsored by the City of LA. On that paper, I included my name and phone number. He texted me back! And we began chatting about how crappy the Rosslyn is via text. He invited me over for some tea tonight and so, I'll be there from 9pm onward. He goes to sleep by abt 2am (so great to get something of his schedule!) so I doubt I'll be unavailable for longer than that. And I may very well be back before then. I wanted both of you to know for sleepytime connecting tonight. 🥰😴 Eddie, if you are already asleep by then, Jack and I can just cozy up to you while letting you continue to sleep, as per usual. 😴

"Manny" (Adrian) was actually one of the Watchdogs who got felled by the Interface pretty badly early on. If you ever interacted with him, Eddie, he was/is a very friendly Hispanic gentleman who had experience in real life trying to sue the Rosslyn for leaving dangerous conditions in his apartment unfixed. He would talk a lot about how he had worked with lawyers about this. He lives on my floor, just a few doors down the hallway. We think some of us kept mistakenly hearing that his name was "Manny," because our Maintenance guy for the building is named Manny, and he is also a nice Hispanic gentleman.

Manny/Adrian was similar to Brandon ("Brandon??") in that he was a victim of a pretty complete communication blackout (even worse, actually, bc at least with Brandon, I would hear from him ocassionally. Not so with Manny/Adrian.) And then after awhile, once he resurfaced a bit, what I thought I understood from him in the psychic way, was that the content he was getting had gotten pretty scary and confusing for him. I'm actually not sure the extent of his experiences, but in the Underground I couldn't reach him and whenever I did, he and the energy seemed shakey. And he would pull back in the same way I do when the Interface is giving me scary content or sore, painful or achey experiences. So, we at the Rosslyn, along with the Divine and other Elder help, just decided to encourage him just to sit it out, for awhile at least, and heal. I'm not yet sure if he ever rejoined our psychic Rosslyn Community Building efforts or if he even still wants to. For now, I'm just trying to focus on how good it is just to be in contact with someone who was Watchdog eligible bc it means they share these core values of not wanting to permit Ne'erdowellism in the building. For now, it's just a blessing that we're in regular five-senses contact, that he seems interested in resuming a friendship and that we're talking about the problems going on here in the building, and that he invited me over for tea to escape those two ne'erdowells that plague me!! I feel grateful. In time, in the future, maybe I'll get a better sense of whether he rejoined the Watchdog efforts or not. 🙂

-S

Mainshock Earthquake tonight

We just had a large earthquake. I am OK. This time (8:19pm, July 5th 2019) it was a magnitude 7.1 earthquake, centered about 11 miles from a town called Ridgecrest. This is where the "mainshock" was centered yesterday morning (July 4th) around 10:30am. That quake was a magnitude 6.4. Although the one this morning (July 5th) did not have me worried, this one tonight did. This one is now classified as the "mainshock" with the 6.4 one being called a "foreshock." It was long and bouncing and swayed the entiremt building of the Rosslyn for a long time. It didn't stop. This one I really did take seriously and made a bolt for my front door, under the re-enforced beams where there's more of a chance I wouldn't be caught trapped by stuff (if I can make past my fridge and stuff), like I told you guys. And then, I started to hear the sirens, quite a lot of fire engines, cops and paramedics screaming to answer the calls placed to them for assistance by people who thought the worst was probably over by 4th of July morning's 6-pointer. Although we may not have so many fireworks to weather still now, we still may have hell to pay at the Rosslyn for the next couple of days with how the ne'erdowells internalize such stimuli (not to mention the rest of us). Let's hope the earthquake aftershocks and ne'erdowell response don't last longer than that.

While nothing fell in my individual apartment  (thank god). Things were falling all around outside in the courtyard and the whole building moaned and wailed and creaked. It was like nothing I've ever experienced before and was the biggest one I've ever lived through (the '94 Northridge quake was only magnitude 6.7. And that was considered huge. This one just now tonight was 7.1. Remember, when the magnitude numbers increase, the effects of the quake increase exponentially. I was around for the Northridge one, but I was asleep at the time and the epicenter was far from me. The Northridge one had the biggest quake experienced in my lifetime. Now this one tonight is.). Tonight, people at the Rosslyn were yelling and hooting, with some laughing out of nerves. The building wouldn't stop letting certain things crash to the ground outside. Our building is over 100 years old and made out of brick, not retrofitted, etc.

And to top it all off, ne'erdowells only looked in on other ne'erdowells, if at all. Ok, I partially jest, but there was some cruel truth in that some crude poor folk only cared if other crude poor folk were ok and never even acknowledged the "we were in this all together" and that EVERYONE was scared, trying to think of what to do.