Jack, you and I REALLY were experimenting with another model in the beginning of your tour, almost an opposite model to what I described in the last two posts tonight. In this other model, Jack, we WERE gingerly experimenting, you and I, with trying to have you go about your tour as you might normally while seeing if you could also just channel me naturally and accept my psychic calls in real-time, somewhat whenever they occurred because I had a hard time telling whenever one of you was otherwise engaged [1]. However, it should be understood that this was done as a last minute last resort contingency plan enacted only because I was not able to receive the headsup from you warning me in advance that you were about to go on tour and the feeling, I think, from the Otherside was that for me to experience such a sudden and abrupt loss of you in my daily life and routine might put me in a state of shock, considering how delicately and deeply and otherworldly close our connection had become. The thing is, Jack, I had no idea beforehand the Otherside had put this possible last resort contingency plan to you and thus, I had no time to really consider and weigh in on it, because I DEFINITELY would have insisted on you being clear first about some serious qualifications to any plan that asked me to try to live in two realities at once while channeling. Two stressful realities, I might add. However, I did try to telepathically tell you as we went along that if we do follow a model where we try to have it both ways, we need to do it VERY carefully because of how much the inherent dynamics of such an idea risks me starting to feel like I might be going crazy. At best with that model, we always were only looking at trying it very gingerly. Much to my personal horror, it seemed as though you leaned into it heavily without much of an understanding of the consequences. This was my complaint to the Otherside: that, if the idea did either come from Heaven or was supported by Heaven, then they should have at least secured for me your full awareness of how risky it was first. And just so you know, I had always received that the Otherside had either suggested this idea or at least supported the idea if it had came from you. But I know Heaven would have known that specific type of Plan B would have needed to be pursued very carefully with regards to my mental health (I don't need any more diagnoses than what I already have). And what I am so frustrated about is that they did not manage to get clear to you the more complex understanding they would have had to when carefully implementing a model like that.
[1] My own horrible hearing and channeling injury is such a critical factor here because if it weren't for that, I might have been able to better sense or clairaudience hear, at least, when you're busy. By this point, here in September, I feel like I've gotten better attuned to you both as a result of all this mess, so I can [only] sometimes sense more easily when you're already busy doing something, but my own lack of being able to sense or hear clearly when someone is otherwise engaged has been a critical component as to how we three got in this mess in the first place. [Wailing tears].
Jack, you are not imagining or misremembering that at the start of your tour you either heard a suggestion or were given support from Heaven for your own idea of an approach that kind of took you and I in the opposite direction of tonight's previous posts. I heard that suggestion too and I agreed to try it out. Wolfgang and Jeremy and the Divine had confirmed that to me several times. However, there were caveats and qualifiers to it and I kept trying to telepathically convey that but I guess it did not come through. In the beginning it seemed to work swimmingly though! And I was amazed and happy and decided to go with the flow. Poor Eddie seemed surprised and was no doubt frustrated because him and I had long talked about an opposite model (the truly more healthy and safe model) and here I was suddenly putting pressure on him to now try this other method last minute that, no doubt, made no sense considering everything he'd worked hard to learn. But, in the end, Jack, by late June/early July shit had hit the fan and trying that contingency model proved my undoing. I was thrust into these situations where you were in two places at once too often (even one time is traumatic for me. Literally. And this was now happening regularly) and I began to totally break down and wonder if my mind had crossed a line and I was having psychotic episodes. I came to seriously regret trying that contingency model. Or, at the very least, regretted that we couldn't get through to you the DETAILS of it, so you could know to handle it very tremulously, regularly checking to see if it was causing any disruptions along the way. It deserves to be said though, that it was risky to begin with and perhaps I should not have agreed to try it even at all. For my part, I went along because I was desperate to not suddenly hardcore lose you for 6 months since not interacting too much is more realistically an approach that may be required when any of you are on tour from here on out.
*Later, in another post, perhaps I can go over what was happening from my perspective regarding trying to join you live in real-time when you were onstage in concert. Me, my three girlfriends and Eddie did try to do this. The preview summary is that while I did try it a few times and liked the idea of trying it, in the end, I didn't feel like I could get a clear lock on when precisely you and the Racontours would be onstage as opposed to when your opening bands might be on instead. Bandsintown doesn't always mention if there's an opening band or not and I think they only list when the doors open anyway, not when the Raconteurs will literally take the stage (and, of course, that's not even inclusive of any unscheduled delays), so again, I began to really struggle psychologically with the idea of thinking I'm telepathically witnessing something that I hope is really occurring (you and your band playing in real-time) when in reality it may not be. I may have been an hour or two off every night I tried to join you. I don't really know for sure what happened those nights we tried it. And yet, here I was kinda really getting my hopes up about the excitement of psychically connecting to you in concert [whereas with Universal Studios and Breakfast with Prince many times I'll give you guys personal proof you're not crazy or wasting your time]. And that's just it, the uncertainty is too disturbing and the time and effort put into it make me feel like my time is not valued either. For what it's worth though, I would have liked to join you. Telepathically watching you perform if we could only be working with getting me the precise time you go on stage so I know when to tune in to something REAL.
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