NOTE: I will likely add to this post from time to time with updates, including new medical info, details on symptoms and/or ideas about how I might be managing those medical symptoms in the Underground.
Additionally, I may add more content or details to the horrible Interface-related symptoms or anomalies I (and seemingly others) experience.
I'm kind of nervous in posting this (and think it's why it's taken me a bit to do so) because a full reveal of all of my medical conditions is not something I'm in the habit of doing with just anyone. In other words, I've learned the hard way that it's best to talk about these things if I'm sure I'm in a safe space. And, generally, physical health problems tend to be very scary for others to confront and psychological ones still come with a lot of societal stigma. Nevertheless, I actually can be comparatively forthcoming on many occasions, and tend to speak freely about at least some of the conditions (particularly with other sufferers of the same malady) but, admittedly, I rarely just lay everything out on the table in one lump sum, particularly if, like I said, I'm not completely sure if the other people are going to be able to handle it well. Ever since my heart problems, I found you lose friends if you start to overwhelm them with daring to be too sick in front of them [wry laugh here]. I think I'm worried that the following list of conditions, coupled with the Interface harm, will leave some of you (particularly you two, Ed and Jack) with such a sense of "too much" that you won't want to continue to interact with me at all in the Underground, even if I'm feeling well and not having any Interface problems. Because, the truth is, if I'm feeling well (health-wise, no ne'erdowell neighbors behaving badly, no Interface problems) then, I really do want to be engaged with people in the Underground, and oversee things in the Underground*).
*I am saying the "U" word here for complete clarity. Truly, this blog gets zero traffic (I regularly monitor the metrics), no one will see this.
I also wanted to wait to make sure everyone would be able to really spend time reading this and connecting with it in a clean and clear way, so that it was not felt like a burdensome or distracting thing in the face of people's tours and albums.
At the end of the day, however, I can't deny that part of a proper safety protocol would necessitate granting specific knowledge of my conditions to those interacting with me in the Underground with any regularity, so that you might be better able to "hear" me (and/or Divine, guides, etc.) express my needs telepathically and also, so that you might be able to make better logical decisions on your own about what may be safe in your interactions with me, i.e. "airing on the side of caution" type thing.
1)
First and foremost, I do have a serious heart condition called, Complete Heart Block (the medical term for it is called, Third-Degree Atrioventricular Block. Another lesser-known term for it is called, Mobitz III, type III Heart Block). I was diagnosed with it following a cardiac arrest in 2014. What this condition confers is an inability of the top part of my heart (the atrium) to convey the electrical impulse that tells the bottom part of my heart (the ventricles) to pump. My condition is an electrical conductivity issue. It is not the same as having clogged valves, like those who’ve had a heart attack have.
My heart does not pump on its own. It requires a pacemaker to function. My heart is 100% dependent on the pacemaker to pump.
My cardiologist-electrophysiologist believes this condition is genetic. It was not contracted through anything I did or did not do. Nonetheless, I quit smoking on the spot after 25+ years and couldn’t help but quit my recreational drug use (also quit cold turkey upon diagnosis - all except marijuana) and drastically cut down on alcohol consumption, per his guidelines.)
Since I am not a clinician, I cannot speak with minute detail about what is safe for me to be exposed to or not. But, in general, my instincts and my spirit guides try to follow a low-stress approach. This applies to my response to A) life in general B) the harassing ne’er-do-wells in my apartment building, C) the Interface fluctuations (which I try to avoid as much as possible, but these days it’s been very difficult to do so because they’ve been occurring with more frequency and intensity). It’s also why the guides/other Elders/Divine/Helpers, etc. counsel you guys to avoid doing things that may shock, surprise or stress me.
2)
There is also a secondary heart condition I used to have called, Atrial Flutter. I had two surgeries to correct that condition back in 2014, but there's always a chance that condition could return (unlike Complete Heart Block, which is ongoing).
3)
Major Depressive Disorder
4)
Generalized Anxiety Disorder. The following can give me individual anxiety-related symptoms (i.e. nausea) and/or a Panic Attack proper, which can be inclusive of several anxiety-related symptoms (i.e nausea and light-headedness).
A) Life, in general
B) Health problems. In and of themselves they can trigger a lot of anxiety sometimes.
C) The ne'erdowells acting up (particularly if they're doing so very profoundly).
D) Functional problems with the apartment. My apartment truly does have functional problems also, unrelated to the ne'erdowells, and sometimes those problems kick in late at night (though not exclusively) and can give me panic symptoms and/or a panic attack.
E) Poor apartment management response to any of the above.
F) Dealing with any of the government agencies I'm required to as a result of being on Disability (the personnel is often abominable).
F) Interface problems (i.e. General system failures that cause anomalies such as "communication blackouts," "headaches,' "head-stinging," "heavy, oppressive energy," etc.)
G) Exposure to large amounts of uncertainty. This is true for life in general with me. However, this also applies to the Underground and psychic spaces where the channeling is unclear and I don't know for sure what's going on, like trying to channel an understanding of what people's availability is in the Underground.
H) And finally, generally, anything where you observe there's a lot of stress occurring, I will be sensitive to it.
5)
In addition, as a separate co-morbid* diagnosis, I am sometimes allotted Panic Disorder, as I can have a lot of panic attacks sometimes. If you regularly have a certain amount of Panic Attacks proper in a certain amount of time then it constitutes not just Generalized Anxiety Disorder, but specifically Panic Disorder. Sometimes I do have that precise amount of attacks in the precise amount of time for a long enough duration ongoing to warrant the additional, separate diagnosis of Panic Disorder.
*That’s the term for more than one psych diagnosis, lol.
6)
PTSD. This is related to my physically, emotionally and psychologically abusive family growing up, the traumatic ending of my marriage, and the "ne'erdowell" neighbors and their hostile, maniacal and disruptive behavior. I am very noise sensitive and sensitive to neglect, aggressive and callous speech or behavior.
7)
Vertigo. This one evinces itself when I get stressed.
8)
Cataracts (for which I may need eye surgery. They are early onset cataracts - most people don’t get them so young - and they’re a type of cataracts that can deteriorate your vision rather quickly. I’m skittish about surgery ever since my heart surgery and keep hoping there’s some way I won’t need it).
9)
I also have Acid Reflux/Gerd. The symptoms of this I experience quite frequently and you hear me complaining about it often. I have a hard time digesting food properly and I cough a lot. I take medication for it, but because the symptoms have not completely gone away with Prilosec, my doctor recommended me to a specialist. I have been in talks with the specialist this summer and will be scheduling an endoscopy/biopsy by the end of the summer/early fall. I'm very afraid of this procedure for I hope they do not find anything like cancer.
