Suicide

Yes, I am someone who gets to feeling suicidal and has regular suicidal ideation bc my overall life circumstances seem so hopeless and as the future wans on and the 2020 election encroaches, they look ever more hopeless still. My real-world, regular world circumstances are very, very bad and grueling. My health is not always great. My economic prospects are poor and without opportunity. I am often talking to my psychiatrist and therapist about this suicidal component and they consider me an at-risk-patient that they have to regularly keep on eye on.

Please do share this verbatim with Paul.

Photos/videos

I have a few photos of the El Salvadorian restaurant I'm at right now (5pm; 12/27/19; Happy Hour) and a few videos/photos of the little chapel we visited for Xmas Eve mass. These are on the Soulkin Instagram.

I still have more Xmas lights photos to upload of the houses in my friend's neighborhood, s'more Xmas trees from DTLA and, of course, I still owe you guys the Day of the Dead videos....

Xmas Dinner

Sorry I'm so abrupt, sweetheart. I really am sorry I end up being this way. It's not how I am in the regular world of socializing. I get overstimulated sometimes here in these psychic worlds and I have to stop suddenly when that happens. Sadly, it occurs even on really fun things like hopping around in a life-size Gingebread House.

Instead, I was thinking of starting dinner now. If you want, you can join me. I should be about 20 - 30 mins until I have everything done, bc I cooked the tofurkey last night.

I had hoped to bring you in earlier for the presents being unwrapped and hanging some decorations on the tree, but the dogs were kind of manic bc I had toys for them for Xmas and the Interface energy was weird and heavy. 

I love you so much though and hope to share as much Xmas with you as best we can. I'm sorry it's stop-and-start and hodgepodge. I wish I could do better but the environment of my friend's house is kind of more stressful than I anticipated (and I already anticipated some stress!) and the Interface makes navigation challenging, of course. Anyway, you're welcome to join me for some holiday nom noms in the regular world way. I should be done in approx a half hour. I'll check to see if you can join me then or any point along the way. :) ♡♡♡♡ 

I'm just happy you're spending Xmas with me and Jeremy, BarnabyCat and Wolfgang, et al, in any capacity!!

Xmas Eve and Xmas Day ♡♡♡

I'm going to try to make the Xmas Eve mass tonight at 7:30pm at the little Catholic chapel down the street, founded by Carmelite nuns. I think it's called, St. Joseph's. It's a cute little chapel and the priests there are very, very quiet. In case the turn out is especially impacted bc of the holidays, I'm going to try to get there maybe around 6:45pm or so. Unf they don't offer midnight mass. Oh well. :( This'll be quaint and sacral though....

If you'd like to psychically come with me, I'd really like it. I'm not sure if I can take pictures once inside before the service starts, but I'll scope the situation out.

I don't regularly go to mass anymore, but generally I do for Xmas and sometimes Easter.

Here at the house today, at some point, I'll need to do some light cleaning, let the dogs out again and hop in the shower, just so you get a sense of my scheduling needs before 6:30/6:45pm.

I bought another vegan tofurkey, veggie mashed potatoes, stuffing and vegan pie that I'll be eating tomorrow in celebration. I might also add some decorations I bought to the Xmas tree tomorrow. If you're free, I'd love to spend the holiday with you, in around whatever stuff I still have to do with the dogs (feeding, potty, play time, tending to their anxieties to some extent - I suspect these things won't cease owing to a human holiday). :-P

I'd love it if you psychically eat with me Xmas lunch/dinner tomorrow, if you had anything special you were gonna make for tomorrow.

I might go ahead and cook the tofurkey tonight, and make the sides tomorrow bc Lamby can start to go crazy with barking if he smells strong smelling human food for too long. The holidays, food, water, existence on the planet Earth all incite him, too. [Sequence eye roll].

Lamby and Sammie pix

I have a few pictures of the dogs on the Soulkin Instagram.

I am a drummer

Since high school I've played the drums. It's my favorite instrument. I love 'em! I can play drum sets (at least I used to be able to - I'd be very rusty playing a drum set now,  tbh, but I'd still enjoy getting back into it) but my preference are hand drums. Indian Doumbeks, to be exact, but I like various African hand drums, too, like the Djembe. In high school I owned a five-piece Ludwig set but my parents made me give it away bc the neighbors were complaining. Assholes. :-P

I prefer Middle East and African beats. Also Jazz. Traditional Indian rhythms blow my mind.

I used to have a nice little collection of hand drums from around the world there for awhile, but, sadly, I had to sell them all about 10 years ago. I still miss them. All I have now is a bucket drum and some well-worn drum sticks. I can't really practice playing at my apartment, but whenever I see a drum circle with good vibes, I love to bring the bucket/sticks and pound on it. The more complex the rhythms, the better!

I can generally pick up any beat within 15 minutes to a half hour. Any beat. Except Indian tablas. Traditional tabla composition tends to go over my head, it's so unexpected and counter-intuitive to me. So, while I can pick up drum beats in a short amount of time, it doesn't mean I'll have mastered how to render it on the instrument acceptably. That would take practice to master demonstrating the newly learned beat in the right way. I may or may not have played the drum before, too. And I never get to practice anymore anyway. But once I get warmed up...I tend to find the most skilled drummer in the circle and mimick what he plays (surprising everyone there, bc usually drum circles are sausage fests).

I wouldn't say I'm the most creative drummer. My mind goes blank when asked to provide a new, interesting beat, but I would say I'm a quick study and can handle intricate rhythm structures :)

I am largely self-taught, having only briefly taken drumming in college. Whereas with the accordian, I trained for three years (still never learned to read sheet music somehow though) 

:-P

Accordian Ragtime when I was a kid

I did used to play the accordian (of all instruments) competitively when I was young. I competed internationally and always won first place or grand prize. Always. I never learned to read music,  I sort of put things together using my own hodgepodge method of understanding. And I played a lot of ragtime. Scott Joplin, yay.

I was a kid when did this, however, and unf I didn't keep up wirh it.

The Rain & Lamby and Sammie

I've been experiencing a lot of anxiety and panic attacks on this job. The dogs are A LOT of work (more than I was expecting), though sweet-hearted. And I'm good with animals! Ah well.

One of the things I'm stressed abt upcoming is that it's slated to rain all this week, incl on Xmas, and Lamby (learned the correct spelling of his name; pronounced "Lemmy" though) is kind of bonkers when encountering other dogs. And he's already a pill! ;-p

While I've achieved some miracles with them so far, there are many times I don't feel well (physically, mentally) and have an increase of lot of anxiety symptoms since here. :(

Star Wars!

I'm watching ABC, a Jimmy Kimmel Star Wars special tonight. If youd like to join me, youre welcome to. :)

Woops! Forgot to include the link for the paranormal/EMF article

Here's the URL that belongs with the following paragraph from the previous post. Sorry about that.

"Check out this artcle on Infrared sound. It is AMAZE.  Note: just bc the article seemingly contradicts what the Ghost Hunter guy said doesn't mean both can't be true, bc the only fact ultimately applicable is that nothing has been discerned with certainty yet.:

https://science.howstuffworks.com/science-vs-myth/extrasensory-perceptions/infrasound-paranormal-activity.htm

More on EMF

So, I'm watching the show Ghost Hunter in the background right now and one of the investigators said something entirely relevant to what I've been discussing with you lately. I don't know if this is true, but I had to write it down while I still remembered it. He said, "In terms of EMF waves, anything above 20 hz and 90 decibels and people will observe paranormal experiences." 

20 hz (ELF radio waves) is the bottom end of human hearing, so that would be a commonly heard frequency, which would mean we could be encountering paranormal INDUCING frequencies (causing telepathy?) OR INTERFERING frequencies (interfering with telepathy?) all the time. What I don't know is if he observed the 20 hz emission needs to be accompanied with a 90 decibel characteristic for paranormal phenomena to occur bc, if so, 90 decibels is pretty loud (industrial noise levels), and, thus, not as easily found inside a home (well, unless you're a professional musician, of course). ;-p

When I do ITC work with my friends on the Otherside using the PSb7 device, the spirits utilize medium to high frequency radio waves on the FM dial to communicate with me. They can bring through audible-to-the-naked-ear words and music.

Storm clouds and lightning also create EMF fields, so, this is good to keep in mind in terms of further possible interference from natural phenomena, but again, we don't know for sure, because we have no established bar for when EMF interference from man-made (AC) or natural (DC) sources begin distorting the frequencies WE use to telepathically communicate with each other. We haven't even established which frequencies WE utilize to telepathically communicate with each other. We haven't even established that we use EMF frequencies to  communicate with each other at all. If we do use 'em, are they ELF frequencies (power lines, appliances, wiring or higher, like HF or even EHF (radio, TV, cellphones, and beyond)?

*[1] At least those were the metrics I THINK the Ghost Hunter guy said. He said it quickly and I tried to rewind it several times but for the life of me haven't been able to relocate it yet in the video bc my friend's remote is slow responding.

Check out this artcle on Infrared sound. It is AMAZE.  Note: just bc the article seemingly contradicts what the Ghost Hunter guy said doesn't mean both can't be true, bc the only fact ultimately applicable is that nothing has been discerned with certainty yet. 

https://science.howstuffworks.com/science-vs-myth/extrasensory-perceptions/infrasound-paranormal-activity.htm

The above writing contains original intellectual content © Copyright 2019, Seraphime Angelis.

Note: There's a vastly unrelated post below this one.